That's Life 10-10-08

Issue of Oct. 10, 2008

Dear That’s Life,

Before leaving the house very early the other morning I made a strategic error and gently kissed my three-and-a-half year old son as he slept in my bed. Moments later he was wide awake, cheerful, and ready to chat. “Daddy, do you know what we do on Kippah Day?” he asked. Kippah Day? That’s a new one, I thought to myself. But anything that might help get this little boy to keep a kippah on was just fine with me. Then he explained: “On Kippah Day we swing a chicken over our head. Isn’t that cool?” Mayer Fertig

Dear That’s Life,

Talking to friends and family members after Rosh Hashanah, the topics of conversations included who blew kolot, how much we ate that we shouldn’t have and how the davening was. Unfortunately, the latter part of that list often included the disruptions that occurred in shul, most of which were predictable and certainly avoidable. Of course, the fainting spell of one gentleman during u’netaneh tokef could not necessarily have been prevented, but shuls do not make general announcements reminding people not to faint during services. On the other hand, announcements are made and geared towards parents to serve as not-so-gentle reminders that children should not be eating in the sanctuary during davening and that parents should tend to their children and not allow them to run around, disrupting services. Neither request is new –– we hear it every year –– and neither is too much to ask. It is actually more shocking that after years of hearing these announcements, people still do not get it. One woman told me that a young child seated near her was given a ripe, crunchy apple to eat during davening, juice dripping down her chin. “That was the least of it,” she said. “It was when the mother then took a big bite out of the apple, too –– during davening –– that was really IT. I didn’t know we were all allowed to eat during shul now, too!” “That was interesting,” I said, but I had already heard one better. A friend of mine in a different community said that there was a woman nursing her child in the sanctuary during davening. The friend had commented to me that although she believes breast feeding to be incredibly beneficial to the child, she couldn’t imagine it was the best way to reach G-d on the High Holy days. This anecdote stunned the woman with the apple story. Of course, there was the image of the row of men wearing taleisim and their sons sitting dutifully next to their fathers –– all with lollipop sticks coming out of their mouths. That was a beauty. I would like to thank a friend, who shall remain nameless, for that submission. While we are all obligated to hear shofar blowing, that obligation is best served by after-hour or satellite shofar blowing, which takes place after services –– for those who could not make it for whatever reason –– instead of disrupting the davening and the experience of others. On the second day of Rosh Hashanah, I stayed home with my children. After being in shul on the first day, my eldest daughter found it very frustrating that we could not go on the second. And while we davened at home and we heard kolot later, she still was not satisfied. She had heard my mantra a number of times before, but it just didn’t make sense to her. And out of complete disappointment and frustration she finally said in a firm voice, “I don’t understand, Mommy. If everyone else is bringing their kids to shul and disrupting everyone else’s davening, why can’t we do that, too?” MLW

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