Opinion: Find a new friend, despite a disability — Your Health 2-13-09

In My View

By Peggy L. Gurock

Issue of Feb. 13, 2009 / 19 Shevat 5769

He or she might be a neighbor. Or a classmate. Or a relative. But chances are, your child knows someone of the same age with some sort of disability.

In fact, according to government statistics, one in every dozen children and teenagers — that’s 5.2 million — has a physical or mental disability.

Some are minor and some are pronounced. Some are obvious to a child; others are difficult for a child to recognize and even more difficult to comprehend.

That’s why we need to teach our children how to interact with those they perceive as being “different” in a way which will help both children develop.

A study in the journal Topics in Early Childhood Special Education suggested that a child’s perception of other children’s disabilities is formed early in a his or her development; most were aware of physical disabilities, but when it came to “sensory disabilities” (like the spectrum of disorders grouped under the term “autism”), that number dropped, and few showed an awareness of Down syndrome.

But experts in child development agree that it is important that children without disabilities not only learn to be aware of those playmates who are different, but also be taught how to interact with them.

Statistics on autism conflict, but there is no dispute that the number of children diagnosed with various autistic tendencies has skyrocketed in the past two decades.

What we call autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is a result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal functioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interaction and communication skills.

What causes children with autism to act differently? They may play in a different way from other children, they may stare at something for a long time or maybe twirl a piece of string or spin a toy car around and around.

A lot of times they play by themselves because they don’t know how to play with other kids. Similarly, other kids may not know how to play with them, or may be afraid to play with a child who has autism.

As parents, we have to help break down those barriers. We have to teach our children that children with disabilities are not much different from them. And just like our children, they can do some things better than others; just like everyone else; they have lots of different feelings. They might feel happy, sad, excited, frustrated, proud, lonely or loving.

Children with autism can sometimes have a hard time using words to say what they need, and they might end up saying the same word or sentence over and over.

It’s important for our children to understand that even if someone with autism acts differently from them or their friends, they still have feelings and they care about other people.

Our children need to learn to be caring children and to be themselves when they are with children who sometimes act differently.

They might even make a new friend.

Peggy. L. Gurock is a school-based senior occupational therapist, employed by Trinitas Children's Therapy Services. She is the founder of the Orthodox Jewish Occupational Therapy Chavrusa and can be reached at peggy at ojotc.org.