‘JAP’s redux? ‘Princesses: L.I.’

For those Jews who have wanted to “mainstream,” they got it. We’re now part of the Bravo equal opportunity bashing brand in their offering, “Princesses: Long Island.”

Along with the Housewives of Beverly Hills, New York, Orange County, New Jersey, Atlanta and a whole lot of Shahs, Bravo has now turned to us, to prequel how “perfectly normal” people can become fighting lushes with extensions, implants, and lips the size of canal boats.

Here’s the set-up:

“Princesses” follows six Jewishy college educated girls from luxe neighborhoods in Long Island: Chanel, Erica, Ashlee, Joey, Amanda and Casey. Despite the fact that they’re pushing age 30, they still live with mama and papa — and not due to custom, but to credit cards. These Millennials got the memo, and missed the offensive jokes; you’ve heard them in the 1980s.

What do you say to a baby Jewish American princess?

“Gucci Gucci Goo”

How many Jewish-American princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What? And wreck my nails?

Knee-slappers? No. Accurate? Also no — which is why they died a fairly quick death. Humor, even non-PC humor, must resonate, and the JAPy stereotype of the over-indulged, over-attended, materialistic, manipulative, spoiled, lazy, narcissist just didn’t fly. (Almost as catastrophic, it wasn’t funny.)

Even Judy Benjamin (Goldie Hawn) in Private Benjamin found her mojo, grabbed her independence, became yutz-free — and that was over 30 years ago!

In the premiere episode of “Princesses: Long Island,” Chanel (the macher princess), insisted that women living with their parents in the manse until they find their gelted prince is both a “Jewish thing” and a “Long Island Thing.” Guess what? I live in Brooklyn which is also on Long Island and the last time my kinder saw a silver spoon was in the Tower of London.

Yet, Bravo is spreading this odious stereotype to its viewers!

The irony is that if it weren’t for the Jewish women, the Jewish people would still be enslaved in Egypt. When Pharaoh decreed that all first-born Jewish males should die, the men became resigned to their fate and refrained from marital relations to save future generations. The Jewish women did not have such a near-sighted view and realized that the Almighty would save them and bring them out of Egypt.

The Jewish woman is not a princess, but a queen. On Shabbat, she sits as the queen of her table, as all those sing her praises. She is the Eishet Chayil, the Woman of Valor, who sets the spiritual tone with her guidance, her love, and her strength.

Perhaps Bravo should read the book, Yiddish Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother, by my friend Marnie Winston-Macauley, and learn about the proud tradition of Jewish women, both sung and unsung. Here is a tiny sampling.

Lieutenant Frances Slanger: Jewish nurse killed In World War II

Ellen Goodman: National Pulitzer Prize columnist

Rosalyn S. Yalow: Nobel Prize recipient in medicine and physiology

Barbara Walters: Noted interviewer and star of television

Judith A. Resnik: Second woman in space

Hannah Solomon: Founder of the National Council of Jewish Women

Emma Lazarus: Poet and helper of immigrants

Henrietta Szold: Role model who helped to found Hadassah

Lillian D. Wald: Pioneer in public health concerns

Minnie Guggenheimer: Fund raiser of Lewisohn Stadium

Edna Ferber: Writer of short stories, novels and plays

Gerty Theresa Radnitz Cori: Nobel Prize recipient for medicine and physiology

Gertrude Berg: Star and writer of radio, stage and television

Louise Nevelson: Sculptress

Gertrude Elion: Nobel prize recipient in medicine

Abigail Levy Franks: The epitome of a Jewish mother in colonial America

Oh, and Sylvia Porter, the legendary financial writer was born — on Long Island!

The modern Jewish young woman, whether she’s from Long Island or Lukachukai, Arizona, is as far from this outrageous stereotype as the notion that all New Jersey housewives bask in evil Bada Bing lives. Most work full-time, pay their bills, live on their own or with roommates, value their faith, give to the world, have pride in themselves and don’t expect a prince to pay for a tummy tuck.

My message is: say “No” to Bravo.

Rabbi Simcha Weinstein chairs the Religious Affairs Committee at Pratt Institute. His latest book is “The Case for Children: Why Parenthood Makes Your World Better.” He was recently voted New York’s Hippest Rabbi by PBS Channel 13.